Im ungrounded ( and have been since October) yet it feels like i lost a part of me, i know its not the fact i still dont have vr (mainly because i cant have it in the house, but they could maybe be saying that because of Christmas) but i still dont know what it is, i look back on videos of myself and past messages and it was like i was an entirely different person.

I thought i had felt empty at that time but i was actually happy, yes i still had… certain issues i can’t talk about here… but now its like im numb and cold.
its gotten to the point it’s affecting me at work where i just dont care anymore.

between me falling down almost every rabbit hole imaginable while i was grounded, lying about the reason i used my parents stuff when in reality I heard them talking about getting rid of the VR an i was anxious to I point i just NEEDED something because I would have done something much worse,
my manager who was like an older brother to me quitting because my job demoted him over something stupid, insomnia because i fear of losing more friends (especially those who are like family), anxiety and me having/trying to keep in more meltdowns than ive ever had when i was younger, its like i lost all my innocence and ignorance to everything going on, the child like wonder i had is just gone… dispersed into the wind and out of the atmosphere… i still act childish but i cant see the world through the same wonder i used to… all i see is red…